The piece I wrote yesterday made me pensive. It’s like I was aiming an arrow at the target, but a strong wind kept nudging the bow left or right, up or down. I couldn’t get it on target. Maybe I clipped the outer circle, though…
One of the things I don’t think I nailed was the “How” part. As in, “Okay, HOW do you light that fire within?”
I’ve been trying to do that for decades, and while my own inner fire is more like a little candle struggling within the dubious safety of my cupped hand in the midst of a tornado, it is lit. But…how?
Here’s what I think: cut the crap. All of it. Especially the well-meaning, eminently sensible, pragmatic crap. Obviously you should also cut out the malignant opinions of other broken, scared, and contemptuous people - even the ones who you have some attachment to. And while you’re doing that, name the crazy thing you feel called to do and then take steps to obtain it.
I need to be clear here: this is not just about “following your passion.” It’s most certainly not about abandoning your responsibilities. Down that road lies narcissism and death. I’m talking about your calling. The thing you were born and created for. The thing you are being prepared for, right now.
Two things happened simultaneously for me: I began losing everything one piece at a time, and I fought like hell to hold on to whatever I could. Most of it fell off the precarious heap in my arms despite all my best efforts. At the same time, I kept looking higher and rising above the pain. It was a choice - often dozens of choices per day.
Feeling sad? I looked right into the heart of the darkness and asked, “Why?”
Money disappearing? I learned new skills, made things and sold them.
Somebody offended me? I ripped the lid off of my soul and looked for anything rotten inside. I forgave when I should have, and asked for forgiveness even when my anger might have been justified.
My point is that while I may have never felt it, I was proactive and made the choice to be and do better. Whenever I was inert - especially when I was comfortable - I got up and did something.
I’ve heard the phrase, “Motion creates emotion.” (It’s probably a Tony Robbins thing, if I had to guess.) It’s so true. The heat and friction that comes from taking action - motion - starts a fire.
The thing you’re called to do, or the person you’re called to be (which is vastly more important, but not unrelated) will take shape as you’re taking virtuous action. It may not look anything like what you expected. It may be something you had never even thought about.
Or, figuring out the thing that fires you up could be the thing you knew 30 years ago. (Heh - then it becomes a fight to kill despair for all the time “lost.”)
The TL;DR version:
1. Cut the crap. Eliminate useless distractions. (But not legitimate responsibilities in accordance with your vocation)
2. Keep searching fighting for and choosing the Good. Actual good.
Here’s the good news: there’s no middle ground. It’s one or the other - fire it up or die a long, slow death.
There. That’s closer. ;-)