Random Friday and Thank You

Some quick hits on comparison, courage, and gratitude

I took a work call right after lunch yesterday that went on for more than an hour. The standard by which we’re judged…er, by which our performance is measured, is around a tenth of that. In other words, we need to be solving people’s problems in just a few minutes, otherwise its bad customer service.

Why did I let it go on so long? Because she was an old lady from Texas, and you DO NOT interrupt old ladies from Texas. Otherwise, well, bless your heart.

Really, though, she had a need to brag on her son. What need? I’m not sure. But if I had to guess, I’d say that when you get to a certain point in your life, when you have no more at-bats, your kids are your legacy. They’re your story, your life’s CV. Judging by her son’s accomplishments, she had done a great job. Whatever the case, it seemed like I was doing her a kindness by listening. My numbers be damned.

“Junior” excelled at everything from the time he was eight years old. High school was easy, extra curricular activities were numerous. He went to a great college where he was president of everything, including the president (or whatever the title is) of his fraternity for at least two years. He was sought out by law firms and engineering companies before he’d even graduated, and after that milestone, he was given a pile of money per year. 

Evidently, the pressures of the work he does was like a nutrient bath for ambition. He rocked it in everything he did, including marriage. 

By the time I risked everything and told her that I simply had to take other calls, I was proud of the guy. But I didn’t have to take other calls - I had to go for a walk around the building and chant affirmations to myself. “Everyone’s path is different…” “Don’t compare yourself to others, loser…” “My mom is proud of me, too…”

Hah. Not quite. But I did start to go there. How can one not question his life’s path when he’s tethered to a Tulsa call center desk, making less than a quarter of what he did in his prime, and being forced to listen to the glorious success of another man?

How? I ask you!

I could tell you it didn’t REALLY get to me, but here I am writing about it about twelve hours later at 0-Dark-Thirty, so…

I used the presto-changeo tools I’m trying to articulate in this newsletter to snap out of it. “It” being the toxic comparison habit too many of us indulge. The realization: We really are on our own paths. I knew my path when I was 15-years-old. I was just too afraid to go for it. Or rather, in no way did I believe I would be successful. It took 30+ years of shadow careers and unnecessarily vigorous self-flagellation to finally get to the starting line.

I don’t recommend it. Wherever you are: do the Thing right now. No resources? No connections? It doesn’t matter. There is always something you can do to start RFN.