The Shrieking Death of Ego

How one year almost killed me, but then gave me life

At the end of 2017 and into early 2018, the “Universe,” as the kids say, tried to kill me.

It was the best thing that ever happened to me.

It was actually New Year’s Eve when I realized that something extraordinary was happening. I decided to start keeping a list because I knew I’d probably write about it one day. (I don’t advise list-keeping for bad things, by the way. They tend to be a self-fulfilling prophecy of woe. “Oh, look how I’ve suffered!”And then you continue to act as if the bad stuff is all there can ever be…)

There was one big problem, but many, many other smaller problems, all compounded by my own shortcomings as a business owner and a man. The big problem was the former employee who was trying to extort me. Most of the smaller problems had to do with other employee issues. Oh, and my marriage was falling apart - and it was far worse than I realized at the time. And a friend’s weeks-old baby died. 

Later, after it all crashed and burned, the one man who’d ever been a father to me died of cancer. That’s a whole story in itself, but for now suffice it to say I’d never felt so alone as I did in November 2019. Or so I thought. In some ways, it was about to get harder. Maybe not “worse,” but definitely harder. I was eventually thankful for the farcical year of 2017-2018.

Don’t worry - there’s a positive note at the end. But here’s a short list of the…what should we call them? “Character building moments?”