I was going to post something very different yesterday, but as it happens, sometimes funny stories or situations don’t actually have a lesson, or even a point, that you can extract from them. In this case, it was about that time I was reading was about the grotesque punishments Herod faced for the slaughter of the Innocents. It was the reading for the mid-day meal the day after Orthodox Christmas, so it was topical.
What makes it “funny” is that I was reading it to a very mixed audience: monks and families with children. The kids were very young—young enough to not be able to “read the room.” They clanged, they cried, they rolled around on the floor. They weren’t receiving the signal, so to speak. However, they made enough noise that I, as the reader, had to really clench that diaphragm and PROJECT lines like this:
“AS FLAVIUS JOSEPHUS RECORDS OF HIM, THESE ORGANS (his privates) DISINTEGRATED FROM PUTREFACTION, AND WERE INFESTED WITH WORMS.”
And this:
“BUT THE MOST TERRIBLE WAS THE SICKNESS IN HIS GENITALS.”
Now, if you’re looking for sober, erudite exposition, you’ve come to the wrong place. I’m just a regular guy whose development was probably frozen somewhere in his late teens. So, when I find myself in the absurd position of projecting the word “genitals” to a room full of people in a church setting, I’ll be in danger of losing my composure.
All I can say is that I’m glad Seraphim wasn’t there, because apparently I have a direct line to that novice’s funny bone, and if I were abbot, I wouldn’t let him anywhere near someone like me. If I had looked up (as I did) to see if I could catch his eye, the somberness of the moment would have been gone. We would have been pulling weeds from around the septic pit for a month.
Anyway…
My commitment is to publish something here at least every Friday. I failed, so Saturday morning is going to have to do. I had this recording knocking around, so here you go.
It’s a selection from Chapter 9, “Waging Unseen Warfare,” of “The Struggle for Virtue: Asceticism in a Modern Secular Society” by Archbishop Averky.
Like most things I read at trapeza, it seems a bit less impactful than the first time I read it, but maybe your mileage will vary. I don’t know why I’m blown away by most of the things I read when I read them for the first time. Maybe it’s the setting—when you have a bunch of black-robed clerics silently listening to you while they eat their modest, sensible portions, it really ratchets up the sanctity of the whole experience.
The whole chapter really fleshes out this idea that, “The battle against evil begins in our own souls,” but this is the basic, core idea in a short, digestible form. It’s also a much better way of saying, “Don’t judge,” which is easily corrupted by the most judgmental people on the planet to mean, “Jesus says not to criticize me.”
Why shouldn’t we judge? Because it moves the epicenter of spiritual battle from where it should be (within ourselves) to some external locale. You could say that judging others leaves the castle (your soul) undefended. People who whip out the “Don’t judge” card tend to forget the reason for that, and tend to be some of harshest critics of everyone else.
As someone in an ongoing battle with another person, I can verify the importance of locating the enemy within one’s own soul first, and then destroying him. (Or ‘it.’) The anger and bitterness that comes from seeking out and fighting the evil in other people’s soul first and foremost creates an awful, bitter, dimmed, and blacked-out perception of reality. Fighting the evil in others is the best way I know how to grow a garden of bloody, malignant flowers in one’s own heart.
I think you get it.
Check out the book if you get a chance. I’ll probably be recording selections from it all year long. It’s a solid read for those of us who are called to battle (which is to say ALL of us) but still must live in the world.
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